Grandma, Christmas, New Year's and Some Recomendations...

Well, I have not been the best at blogging lately (obviously), but life has been a little bit crazy! On December 7th, my grandmother passed away. It was...unexpectedly expected, if that makes any sense. Her heart has been bad for years; I think she had her first bypass even before I was born. She had been in the hospital for a while because there were toxins in her body due to her kidney's not working well, and her heart was only working at around 20%, or close to that, on its own. The day she passed away was the first time I had been able to see her in a while because I had been sick and a cold simply would not have helped her at all. My mom, dad, brother, and I went to see her right after church and she seemed just fine, a little tired, but just fine. So it was definitely surprising when my dad got a call from his sister saying that grandma wasn't doing very well only 5 or so hours later. My dad went over and called the rest of us over about an hour later. Being able to say goodbye is something that I've always been thankful for. I've been able to say goodbye to almost all my great-grandparents and now to my grandma. The hardest part of the whole thing was definitely seeing my dad hurt. When he called to tell us that grandma had passed away later that night, he was sobbing. It was awful. My heart literally broke for him. I then stayed up until he got home, which was about 1 am, and I just hugged him and let him have a good cry. Then it seemed like Christmas was here before I knew it. I love Christmas; I love the decorations, the music, just everything about it. My family got a Wii which we all love. I have to say though that I think my favorite gift that I got was something that wasn't even for me. There is an organization called Heifer International that allows people to purchase livestock for impoverished nations. I asked for my family to purchase something from that website, and my aunt actually did! She purchased some baby ducks and I was SO happy that she did. I have so much, and it meant so much to give something like that; something life changing. It was wonderful. I'm already missing the whole Christmas spirit that seems to encompass everything. As for the New Year, I'm excited for a new start. I have things that I want to accomplish, and though I hate New Year Resolutions, I am going to try and make a few changes to better myself and try to become a better person. I want to travel, hopefully on some humanitarian expedition. I want to become healthier: physically, emotionally, spiritually. I want to get to know myself. There are spiritual things that I need to evaluate and pray about and make some big decisions in that regard. HOPEFULLY, I will meet someone this year :-).
Last, but certainly not least, I have a few recommendations in the book and movie department. I am addicted to history and I have this fascination with Henry VIII and his many, many wives. "The Concubine" by Norah Lofts is about Anne Boleyn, the first decapitated wife, and her relationship with Henry. It was so well done. Its written as a novel, so it reads like any other book, and not like a history book. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who even remotely has any interest in history at all. And, speaking of Henry VIII, HBO did an amazing film, aptly titled "Henry VIII" about his life. It stars Ray Winstone as Henry and Helena Bonham Carter as Anne Boleyn. This film goes through all of Henry's wives and I think really shows Henry as a man that you can sympathize with. It is one of my favorites and is another highly recommended film. That's all for now folks!

Reflections...

With the holidays upon us, I've had a lot of reminders as to how lucky and blessed I am. I think its unfortunate that I, as well as probably most people, don't really take the time to really pause and consider how blessed and fortunate we all are until the holidays roll around. With Thanksgiving behind me and Christmas just around the corner, I've been trying to consciously be aware of all my blessings. I think this time of year makes it easy to realize how blessed you are, what with commercials and news stories about the food banks, shelters in need during the holiday season, Salvation Army "bell ringers", toy drives, etc. There seem to be constant reminders of those who are less fortunate. For some reason, this year its all hitting me a little bit harder then I think it has in years past. I just think as I'm getting older I'm beginning to get a small inkling of how blessed I am. I have a home, a warm bed, food to eat, clothing to wear, clean water...so many, many things that so many, many people go without. I can't imagine living without electricity, or indoor plumbing, yet millions and millions of people have probably never even experienced the benefits that technology brings. I can just walk over to my sink and fill myself a glass of clean water, while people all over the world drink "water" (and I use that word loosely...its more like mud in some places) from a bucket they filled at the river that's an hour and a half walk away from their home. I can just walk to my fridge and find food, and if there isn't any food in there, its just a matter of a short drive until I can get some. I have never had to experience what its like to "go without". Sure, when I was younger and my parents couldn't afford the clothes, shoes, toys, etc. that I wanted, I was convinced that life was totally unfair. Now.....it brings tears to my eyes to just think of how selfish and unappreciative I was! I think we live in a society that really doesn't let us appreciate what we have, because there is "always something better". There is always the "it" thing, whether its clothing, shoes, gadgets, cars, etc. and there is always the latest and greatest version following close behind. We're all always trying to make more money, have more stuff, look better then everyone around us; Life has become a competition. I think if we all sat back and really took a good look around, we'd see how we've already won. I am going to try to keep this "attitude of gratitude" throughout my daily life, and not just save it until the holidays come around. I want to appreciate every opportunity that comes my way, because it means I have the freedom to achieve. I want to appreciate every obstacle and hardship, because it could always be worse. I want to appreciate the life that God has given me, and hopefully in learning to see the blessings, I'll be able to appreciate them all the more.

I've had enough...

I am so done with all of this Proposition 8 messiness: all the protests, acts of outright hate, envelopes with white powder, graffiti, fires, attacks need to stop! This situation has gone beyond ridiculous! I sympathize with the gay and lesbian community. I think that they should be given the rights that are bestowed upon a married couple, but I do not think that the definition of marriage can or should be changed. I understand the anger that these people must feel, but its time to move on. Why not start pushing for civil unions? The reason that Prop. 8 succeeded was because people do not want the definition of marriage to change, so how about the GLBT community focus their efforts on fighting for the rights that a civil union would bestow? Instead of hurting their cause by acting out against those who supported Prop. 8, why not try and convince those who don't support civil unions, that it is a good thing? I know that the more the GLBT community pushes back at my beliefs and my church, the more anger and resentment I feel. I support the position that my church has taken in regards to the sancitity of marriage, and I support them in their support of civil unions. And please, do not tell me that marriage is a constitutional right. I'm pretty sure that the last time I read the constitution, there was nothing about marriage in there. I'm sorry, but it just isn't a constitutional right, and I do not want to hear again that a constitutional right has been taken away. The people of California voiced their opinion at the poll, its over, its done with. We have the right to freedom of speech and to protest publically, but I guess I don't know what the protesters expect. Am I happy that Barack Obama is our next president? No. Would going out and protesting and picketing make me feel better? Maybe. Would it accomplish anything? NO. This is a democratic republic and the majority of the citizens of this nation chose who the next president would be. Even if I don't agree with the outcome, its just something that you have to accept. Being able to create our own government is what makes this nation so amazing. We all have to accept the outcomes of the poll, and I just wish that the GLBT community could rise above their personal feelings and stop all the hate. I also feel the need to point out that the Pro-8 side has been less then civil and have definitely not been blameless in this conflict. We're not helping anything by calling names and saying hateful things. Anyway, I'm just sick of all of it.

I Am Thankful For...

• Amazing Family
• Friends
• A job!
• The opportunity and privilege of getting an education (no matter how frustrated I get with the copious amounts of homework)!
• The many freedoms and opportunities afford those who live in this country!
• Books! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to read!
• Firemen calenders...Seriously, I am thankful for smokin hot firemen.
• MySpace, yes, that's right.
• The Holidays...I love everything about Christmas and Thanksgiving!
• Turkey...way to go Pilgrims and Indians! This tasty dish is certainly something this girl is a fan of!
• Day-after-Thanksgiving-Christmas-Shopping-Madness!
• Makeup
• Spanx...what can I say? Every girl needs some Spanx!
• Electricity
• Indoor plumbing
• Lip Gloss...I can't live without it!
• Carmex
• Japan: There would be no Wii or Sushi if there were no Japanese!
• Stephenie Meyer...Thanks for giving me an unachievable and unfulfillable requirement list for future men!
• Edward
• Vampires
• My puppy
• Rainbow "cleaning systems"
• Lysol Disinfecting Spray
• Sweater Cardigans...so cute...
• Fishnet pantie hose....rawr!
• High heels
• A roof over my head!
• Old movies
• CLOTHES
• Texting
• Having so many things to be thankful for...

Hurt...

Watching the news, reading the newspaper, one cannot escape the hurt and frustration that has come from the passing of Proposition 8 in California. I feel really torn by this issue. Knowing people who are gay really has added to the confusion that I feel with gay marriage. First of all, I do not think the California Supreme Court should have allowed gay marriage against the wishes of the majority, which was stated clearly, and then struck down in May of this year. Whether we like it or not, this nation is a democratic nation; a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. The thing with Prop. 8 is that you can't give a people a right, and then take it away again. That is simply not fair. Now, I believe that marriage is a sacred institution ordained by God. That being said, I am not opposed to the idea of gays being allowed to have civil marriages/civil unions. With Proposition 8, if it had passed, a religious institution/clergyman could be sued should they refuse to marry a gay couple. That, to me, is ridiculous. I think that is in complete contradiction to the separation of church and state. Now, some people will say "Well, then religious institutions should not be voicing any opinion publicly on this issue, as that goes against the separation of church and state." To me, that is not quite the same thing. There is a fine line, it is true, between what a religious organization can and cannot say should they wish to keep their tax-exempt status, and between the right to freedom of speech. I believe a church, as an assumed "moral" beacon, has the right to speak to its congregation on matters it deems of moral import. That being said, I also think that the gay community is well within their rights to express their outrage, but I think the acts of vandalism which have occurred are hurtful to their cause and only makes those who oppose their position stronger in their own position. I know that I have been hurt and offended by some of the things that I have seen and read in relation to this topic and my faith, and it has caused me to feel some anger. I do not appreciate seeing places that I deem holy and sacred being used as canvas for spray paint and graffiti. I do not appreciate hateful untruths being shown in commercials, blogs, and even newspapers about my faith and those who follow it. I think it is so unfortunate that the gay community and the LDS community cannot come to understand and sympathize with each other. Have we not both been persecuted for living our lifestyle of choice? Have we not both experienced hatred and outright prejudice? I do not see us as all that different in that aspect. I know what I believe, and what the majority of Christianity believes, but can we not come to some understanding? I stand firm with my faith in that marriage is between one man and one woman, and that we support civil unions, but I hope that everyone can come together and find common ground so that we can make some peace with this issue. I hate seeing so many people hurt...

A Million Different Thoughts Floating Around...

So...right now I feel like I've got a ton of different thoughts and issues just floatin around. Most of them have to do with the election of our new president. Watching the coverage of the election on Tuesday, it didn't take a genius to see that there was really no chance that John McCain was going to win, no matter how much I wanted to see him pull ahead. When Obama was declared the winner and the cameras panned the thousands and thousands of people in the streets of America, and I could see people breaking down in tears, I think I fully understood the historical magnitude of what had just taken place. I found my eyes filling with tears; tears of appreciation for the huge step for equality in America, as well as tears of defeat and dissapointment. I think that when Obama and his family move into the White House, our nation will have come full cirlce: an African American President and his family living in a building that was built by slave labor. Thats not to say that I still don't have major reservations about our president-elect, but I am truly hoping that I am wrong and that he will be the leader that this nation and the world need. I hope that this country can honestly come together, both Democrat and Republican, and work together to accomplish all that needs accomplishing. I hope that our do-nothing Congress will step up. There is a quote by John Adams, second President of these United States that I think sums Congress up:

"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress"

This nation needs healing, and I am ready to put my faith in a man that I have not had faith in thus far. As John McCain said in his concession speech:

"I urge all Americans ... I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited. Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that. It is natural. It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. But tomorrow, we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again."

Election Day!

Well, today is the day! After 2 years of campaigning, it all comes down to Obama and McCain. Now, I do not like Barack Obama, and I did not vote for him. I do, however, feel very proud that our country has come to a point where an African American man has a real chance of becoming President. This election will be written into the history books and our children and grandchildren will one day ask those of us who were around what it was like to witness such a historic event. We've also seen Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin play major roles in the political scene. It seems hard to believe that it was only 80 years ago that women were given the vote. I am so proud of my country and that we have evolved and changed sooo much! I think that this election has showed all of us that we really do have the opportunity to achieve great heights, just as the founding fathers intended: government for the people, by the people. EVERYBODY VOTE!!!