Long Time Gone

Why, oh why, am I sooo bad at blogging?! I really think I'd sleep alot better at night if I wrote down some of the randomness that occurs in my brain. The past few months have really been a time of change and of growth, no doubt about it. I've cut some negativity from my life, and though its been painful purging the poison, it feels amazing to start the healing process. I truly am a girl who has to learn her lessons the hard way. Thankfully, I'm beginning to actually LEARN and break away from unhealthy cycles and grow from these experiences; which is the whole point of existence isn't it? I have no regrets, and I refuse to regret some of the decisions I've made, because I am far and away a stronger person then I was before. If I were to regret a decision, it would mean I didn't take anything away from the experience. And I have learned an extraordinary amount. I know myself better, I know what I'm capable of, I have a better sense of what I want, what I deserve, where I want to be, who I want to be, and who I want in my life. I feel like I'm more aware and concious of the fact that every decision has a consequence, whether its positive or negetive. The things we do, the things we say, all have an impact, whether that impact is felt today, tomorrow, or thirty years from now, it will leave its mark somehow. And its impossible to tell the magnitude of the consequence. I almost feel like every decision changes someone else's world. We just don't take the time to contemplate the ripple effect of our choices. I think looking at my actions as though it were a drop in a pool of water, and seeing how the ripples extend from that drop, growing larger and larger, will help me to make wiser choices. Think of the simple change that is made to your day when someone smiles at you, especially if you're in a bad mood. That smile can change your attitude, and in turn, your change in attitude can change another person's, and they can change anothers, and so on, and so forth. We really are all more connected then we realize.