The Lord Looketh on the Heart

About a month ago, I decided to get my second tattoo. I chose "No Regrets, No Expectations". Its from a quote that I read at the beginning of the year, and which has come to mean so much to me. This year has been such an interesting one. I've experienced a lot, I've learned even more, and I've grown. Because of the profound year I've had, I decided to sort of pay homage to the trials and growth that I've experienced and chose to do so in the form of ink on my back. I absolutely love this tattoo and could not be happier with my decision. In my opinion, a tattoo should have meaning and this tattoo has so much meaning I cannot even begin to explain it all. I knew when I made the decision to do this that I would have parents who would be less than thrilled. When I got my first tattoo, my mother hardly spoke to me for three days. It goes against strongly held religious beliefs, which I personally have mixed views on, and I knew that they would be upset. When I showed my mom, her exact words were "What the hell?" and she NEVER curses. She then proceeded to ask what it meant and though I tried to explain its meaning to her, she did not understand. She asked "So you don't regret the bad things you've done?" and I don't think she appreciated the fact that I don't feel as if I've done "bad things". In her eyes, I've sinned. I drink, on occasion, I don't attend church regularly, and I've altered my body with tattoos. Therefore, I must not be in commune with my God. Thus began our "scripture war." She came to me with a scripture about God not being close to the wicked, I believe the scripture was in The New Testament in John. The scripture I gave to her to read was in 1 Samuel 16:7 which reads:

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

Those around me might see my tattoos and piercings and make assumptions based on the way I look. They might say, "Well, the prophet said no tattoos and piercings and you went out and did it anyway" as if it was an act of rebellion. God knows my intent. God knows why I did what I did, and God loves me still, tattoos, piercings, and all my "sins". I get a little frustrated with the black and white stance on right and wrong. I think there is a HUGE area of grey. For example, it is a commandment "Thou shalt not kill", yet, there are circumstances where one MUST kill, whether it be in self defense, war, etc. There are times when it is necessary. I feel that when President Hinckley said no tattoos and only one piercing per ear for girls, it was at a time when people were beginning to take those things to an extreme. People were making permanent decisions without thinking through the consequences. My tattoos have been very well thought out and have such deep, almost spiritual meaning to me, that I could never consider them to be something sinful. They are an expression of who I am, and what I've been through. God knows this. God knows me better than anyone, and he certainly knows me even better than I know myself. I don't doubt that those loved ones who frown upon my decisions and who make comments do so out of concern and love. But at the end of the day, we all have to be able to live with ourselves and our decisions and who we are and I feel like I am being true to myself. I can't live my life for those around me. I'm at peace with God and I'm working at being at peace with myself. The God I believe in is a loving, caring God who wants nothing but happiness for His children. And he's a God who certainly wouldn't turn his back from one of His daughters simply because she has two tattoos. He knows why I have them, and He knows their importance to me. He doesn't care if I'm not a model, too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, ugly, pretty, smart, dumb, pierced and tattooed from head to toe, or completely blemish free. Who we are is not our appearance, but its the way we treat others, how much love we give, the way we handle trials and tribulations. I refuse to be defined by what is seen visually. I'm so much more than a girl with tattoos. I'm a daughter of God. And only He can judge me.