Excitement and Mourning

Being a mother has been my life long dream and ambition. I've always had a hard time answering the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" because I never had any real professional desire other than motherhood. So when I discovered that motherhood was indeed in the near future for me, I was elated. Tears of absolute joy flowed freely, and I knew this was what was what I was born to become. As time has gone by, I still feel that joy, but I've also experienced something I didn't really anticipate. There have been times when I've felt downright depressed. And that feeling has caused a lot of guilt. Why am I feeling like this? Am I really that selfish? Then I read something that gave me great comfort. I was simply mourning the death of my old self, my old life. And it is totally normal. My life has drastically changed with this pregnancy. My body is no longer my own, I no longer have my weekends out with friends, having a few drinks, living my life for myself. The day I knew I was carrying life, gravity no longer held me to this Earth, the love and overwhelming devotion for my growing child did. Its the absolute "growing up" moment. And it has been hard. I don't see or talk to a lot of my friends, we're in different places now, we have different priorities. But I miss them. And I miss feeling like I'm a part of a group. I am trying to find my new identity as a wife and mother, and I know that with a little patience, and a lot of prayers, I will get there.