Well, finding out I was expecting my first little bundle of joy was quite the surprise. I don't think I have ever felt such shock and so much joy all at one time; it was powerful and looking back, a beautiful moment in my life. I think I always had had certain expectations about pregnancy. Yeah, it'd be hard, it'd be uncomfortable, but I think I imagined that I would feel....holy? Powerful? Feminine? I don't know, I just expected to feel like I was in some sort of exalted state. A "sacred vessel", etc. etc. etc.
Let me tell you...I have yet to feel that. Here is what I have been feeling:
- Irritability: Oh boy. And how. Ask my fiance. I'm not a nice person like....65% of the time. I yell at other cars when we're driving, I yell about most everything, I just am no longer my sweet self. I'm a "b". To the max sometimes.
- Nausea: I hate my stomach. I dread eating.
- "Morning" Sickness: Okay. Let me start by saying that whoever named this so-called "morning" sickness, needs to be shot. It's more like "all day, every day, puke festival". Let me reiterate: I DREAD EATING. I know I need to feed my body, to feed my baby, but I swear, if I throw up one more time, I don't think I'll have any more lining in my esophagus. This morning, I puked SO hard, my throat AND my back immediately were so sore. Not to mention that constant tug at the back of your throat that you usually just experience right before puking. Oh, no. It's all the time. And forget about all the little tricks like eating saltines in bed before you get up, drinking ginger ale, even taking prescription anti-nausea pills....know what my body says to that? "HAHAHAHAHA sucka!" I'm counting the days until my second trimester, in the hope that I will start to feel somewhat human again.
- Fatigue: Let's just add this to the pile of WTF symptoms. I understand my body is changing drastically. I'm growing a freaking human for crying out loud. But this isn't just fatigue. This is like a whole new level of exhaustion that I've never experienced before. And it doesn't dissipate. I can sleep for 20 hours straight and wake up still feeling tired. I'm sure my morning sickness from hell doesn't help at all with this, but dang. Maybe it's natures way of letting you get as much sleep as possible to prep you for the many sleepless nights that lie ahead once baby arrives.
- Boob Issues: I'll be brief. But I'm afraid of what's going on in this area already. My boobs are going to get big. Scary big. They're already larger then most....and we're only 9 weeks in and have already gone up a bra size. We're into triple letters at this point. It's frightening. And painful.
- Hormones: I cried the other day because I threw up my saltine crackers. Did I cry when Tay proposed? Nope. Did I cry when I picked out the dress I would marry my soul-mate in? Heck no. Cry over crackers? Yes ma'am, best believe it. I cry pretty much every day, for any number of reasons. And it freaks my fiance out. It's a great time.
